


swords are meant to be weilded (here, use mine)

by Dusty_Skyes



Series: Land, Sea, and Sky [15]
Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: AU -Everybody lives, I BLAME YOU BIBLIOMANIAC, M/M, Spitroasting, double dicking, fish/bird/hylian sex, how do I tag this?, idon'tevenwhat?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 11:37:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10535679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dusty_Skyes/pseuds/Dusty_Skyes
Summary: It begins when the Hero falls in love with the Prince of the Sea and the Champion of Wind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I should probably feel a lot sorrier for this then I am, but I no longer have any shame.

     It begins when the Hero falls in love with the Prince of the Sea and the Champion of Wind.

     It begins when he first notices the Champion of Wind practicing his archery. He exhibits it with grace, pulling the bowstring back until the end of the arrow is in line with his beak before releasing, launching arrow after arrow after arrow into the target across the field. The last arrow fired has left his bow before the first one even strikes the target and the Hero stares with wide eyes as they split each other neatly down the center. A smug smirk curves a beak and the Champion does it again, this time turning as he fires and leaving arrows in the exact center of the targets scattered around the field. In the battlefield, he is just as incredible, remaining high above the ground as he leaves corpses filled with arrows in his wake.

     It begins when the Prince of the Sea wields his trident with terrifying grace. He dances with it across the battlefield, sharp prongs flashing in the light as he moves. A dangerous smile curves his mouth, razor-blade teeth gleaming in the gloom of the battle. He laughs as he dances, trident slicing through the flesh of the beasts that dare to challenge him. The Prince of the Sea is incredibly graceful, leaping upwards to flip over the head of the Moblin that stands against him. He spears it through the chest from behind with his trident and swings the corpse around, using it to sweep the Lynel off of its feet. The Hero stares so much he nearly gets his head taken off.

     It begins when he sees them around the Palace grounds, laughing softly with each other. The Champion of the Wind smirks, beak curving up at something the Prince says, and he tilts his head to the side in a way that makes the Sea Gems ending his braids gleam in the light. He's unfairly beautiful and the Hero's throat sort of closes at the sight. The Prince of the Sea laughs as well, smile bright enough to light up the room. He bends and presses their foreheads together, gently peppers the Champion's beak with kisses, and laughs when red cheek feathers spread as the other squawks.

     Somehow, somewhere along the way, the Hero's emotions tumble straight over the cliff and he falls head over heels in love. Somewhere along the way, they go from friends to something _more_ and his chest tightens at the sight of their closeness. It frightens him; these emotions that swell inside of his breast and leave him short of breath and heart aflutter whenever the Prince or the Champion so much as _glance_ in his direction.

     He smashes the emotions down, trying rather desperately to not pay them any mind. The Champion of Wind has the Prince of the Sea and they really don't need the Hero getting in between them.

     Sometimes, when the Hero is feeling particularly maudlin, he takes to stalking the garden and climbing one of the trees just so he can scowl at nothing. He'll never admit to the fact that the specific tree he always climbs gives him perfect view of the training fields where the Champion and the Prince spar. They tend to dance together every evening when no one else is there, twisting around each other as they fight. Round-tipped arrows and a bow against an obsidian trident that gleams in the light, and they clash against each with a sound like a ringing bell.

     The Hero leans back against the tree and watches silently as they flit around each other within the sparring ring, the Champion leaping backwards in an attempt to fire a round-tipped arrow into an unprotected arm. It barely misses the Prince; he darts away just in time and uses the opening the other had left to catch him in the stomach with the butt of his spear. The Champion is faster though, launching himself forward, and the Prince goes down with a huff of air, landing heavily on his back. They laugh and then lean down to nuzzle foreheads together and the Hero has to look away, his chest tight.

(Pretending that he isn't in love with them is the hardest thing of all.)

**oOo**

     Sometimes waiting is the hardest thing to do. The Champion and the Prince know perfectly well that they're being watched; that the Hero rests in a tree in the garden every time they dance together in the training fields. They know that he's watching their every move, so they put on a show, bow and trident striking against each other in a way that rings around the area. “Your move, Sidon,” Revali murmurs cheekily from where he straddles Sidon's stomach, and the Zora scowls.

     “I really thought I had you,” he remarks. “That was an excellent move, using my own momentum to flip me like that.”

     The Rito laughs and flips a braid over his shoulder, the stone ending it catching in the light. Faintly, just faintly and barely with their hearing range, is the sharpest inhale of breath. He leans in closer and presses his forehead against Sidon's own. “Our little stalker is here,” Revali says, amused.

     Sidon huffs a breath. “I'm getting very tired of waiting.”

     “I as well,” Revali admits. “Perhaps he will make a move soon?”

“I certainly hope so. Zora aren't exactly known for their patience.”

     Revali shrugs. “We _could_ always jump him. It's not like that would be unaccepted, seeing as he keeps stalking us.” He frowns slightly, then snorts. “We were never this bad.” For a long moment there is silence until the Rito adds, “Were we?” in a voice that suggests that he honestly doesn't know the answer.

     Sidon's mouth twists upwards into a rueful smile. “Considering the fact that my sister had to inform you that you sent me into rut because I was too busy hiding to tell you tells me that yes, yes we were just as bad.”

     “At least we weren't as bad as Kass and Teba. Thank the Goddess for Muir, otherwise they'd still be dancing around each other.”

     The Zora looks slightly skeptical. “....Really?”

     “I was informed through a series of highly amused chirps that Muir dragged Kass to the window beneath Teba's room and made him eavesdrop on an argument between Teba and Mipha. Apparently your sister managed to piss him off so much with her meddling that he bellowed a statement that had Kass reeling. Something about how he couldn't tell Kass about loving him because all he does is hurt the other?” Revali shrugs. “I don't know what it was exactly—Mipha could tell you better—but it did end up with the two of them sorting it out right then and there, so I guess it worked well enough.”

     A snort escapes Sidon and the Zora shoves the Rito off of his chest, earning a squawk of annoyance. “I wonder what made Muir decide to join them.”

     “Oh, oh, you'll like this. I was wondering that too, so I might of gone and asked.”

     “Revali, you didn't.”

     “I did. His exact chirps were, and I quote, 'It started when Teba nearly gave up his life for Kass. That takes guts. Besides, _someone_ in this relationship has to have some form of common sense.'”

     Sidon chokes on whatever he was going to say next, then starts laughing so hard his head drops back against the ground. “That's _beautiful_ ,” he wheezes, a hand coming up to cover his eyes.

     Revali laughs with him, lounging on the ground next to the Zora with all the grace of a prince. His gaze flickers towards the tree that the Hero usually resides in, eyes narrowing when he realizes that it's empty. “Damn,” he mutters, “the tree's empty. Plan Q was a fail.

     Sidon releases a mournful sigh. “Plan R then? Remind me of what it is again?”

     “We jump him.”

     “Right.”

(Hopefully this one will work. Revali is quickly running out of ideas.)

**oOo**

     The Hero avoids them that evening with all the grace of a Moblin, instead choosing to hide in his room and pretend that he doesn't actually have a problem. Mipha takes one look at him as he hurries by, then drops her face into her hands. He pretends he doesn't hear her aggravated sigh, closing and locking the door behind him. “He locked the door,” she informs Revali as he heads towards it.

     “I can pick locks,” he informs her flatly, already dropping down to one knee so he can see the thing clearly. “How do you think I got into Sidon's room the first time?”

     Mipha's gaze snaps over, eyes wide, and they go even wider when her brother nods to confirm the Rito's story. “He did,” Sidon says, “then promptly jumped me in my bath.”

     “I didn't need to know that,” she says. “Good luck. I am leaving right now because I refuse to be in the vicinity when you three actually go at it.” Turning sharply on her heel, she strides off and down and around the nearest corner before he can say anything back.

     Behind him Revali chirps a sound of glee in time with the click of the door unlocking. “Got it,” he says triumphantly and shoves it open. Sidon follows him into the room, closing and relocking it behind himself. Link is shirtless and face-down on the bed, but he jerks up, startled, when Revali stomps towards him. “ _There_ you are,” the Rito says.

     'Did you just _pick_ the lock on my _door_?' the Hylian signs, and he's apparently able to make hand signs sound incredulous.

     Revali shrugs. “How else were we supposed to get in here? The _window_? Last time I checked, Sidon can't fly.”

     “I'll keep my feet flat on the ground, thanks,” the Zora adds cheerfully. “Now, as for what we're doing here...” He trails off and glances at the Rito.

     “We got sick and tired of you dancing around us, so we're doing something about it,” Revali says flatly, then settles on the edge of the bed. “Now. You have a choice. You either refuse us right now and we walk out—”

     'Or?' Link signs, somehow managing to cut Revali off entirely. The crystal in his throat pulses with agitation, purple squares flickering into view and then disappearing.

     The Rito scowls at him, but smacks his hands at the squares of magic. If Link teleports out of here on them, he's going to be _furious_. “Or we fuck you right here, right now, and make it a proper threesome.” Sidon makes a wheezing noise, burying his head into his palms in an attempt to smother his laughter.

     “Elegantly stated, Revali,” he manages.

     “Thank you. Now, Hero, what is your choice?” Revali leans in closer, pressing into the Knight's personal space.

     Link flushes a bright pink, cheeks darkening as he tucks his chin and looks up through pale lashes. Sidon rumbles a low growl and reaches over to drag the blond into a searing kiss. Revali croons a purr, smirking widely, and begins to hurriedly disrobe, yanking off his tunic and pants. Sure, he loses a feather or two in the process, but whatever. They'll grow back soon enough. Shoving Sidon away, he tilts his head and drags Link into a kiss that's more tongue than anything else, but it gives the Zora a chance to strip himself of his decorations and find somewhere to stash them.

     Sidon rejoins them on the bed, body bare and slit between his legs already starting to widen, and asks, “So how are we going to do this?”

     Revali's eyes flicker towards him and he pulls away from the kiss, long tongue slipping out from between Link's lips. The Hylian's face is incredibly flushed and he whines softly, gaze hooded and pupils blown wide. “Well...” the Rito muses thoughtfully, casually glancing at Sidon's two, thick cocks that are slipping out of their sheathe. “I know,” he says, then flips Link around and shoves his face in their direction. The Hylian takes one look and his eyes go huge.

     'This is a _thing_?!' he signs, then slowly reaches out to grasp one when Sidon nods. It twists in his grip, writhing and twisting around his hand, and the Zora groans, golden eyes closing. Revali swears that they'll figure something out, because he wants one of those wonderful cocks inside of himself too. Goddess, he really hopes Sidon's up for more than one round tonight.

     When he glances up again, the Hylian is pretty much kneeling on the bed in front of Sidon, curiously exploring the head of one of the cocks. He drags his tongue along a tapered, spoon-like tip before tugging it into his mouth and sucking hard. Sidon arches with a snarl, clicking a sharp noise that's probably a curse. Revali wouldn't know. He doesn't speak the ancient Zora tongue.

     (Ancient Rito spoke with chirps and trills and whistles. Gorons spoke with the sharp sound of a hammer against stone. Zora clicked and whistled, communication awkward underneath deep water. Gerudo of old sounded like the very deserts they lived in; biting like wind-whipped sand. Hylians spoke like music, the sung words impossible to learn without help. All the languages eventually came together, taking bits and pieces from each to create a language that would be common.)

     Revali watches as Link sucks hungrily for a while, then shakes his head and strips the blond of his pants, tossing them aside carelessly and examining what is in front of him. Hylians are different than Rito and Zora, mainly because their bodies don't produce lubricant, and he's glad that he remembered to pick up a jar of oil. Popping the cork, Revali spills a decent amount over pale flesh and then runs his fingers around the tight ring of muscle, eyeing as it clenches tightly.

(This is going to be interesting.)

**oOo**

     Sidon would very much like it if Link stopped _torturing_ him like this. He gazes through hooded eyes as the little Hylian kisses his cocks, lapping at them like a Goddess-damned _puppy_ , and then sucking gently at the tips. His hands slide up and down the swollen flesh, tugging on it in a way that makes him breathless. The Zora groans faintly; he's oozing slick and it's pooling, spilling over his shafts. Link's breath hitches and Sidon shifts his gaze, watching hungrily as Revali stretches the pretty blond open.

     It's even better when the Rito removes his fingers and actually sheathes himself inside of Link, if only because he whines in a way that makes Sidon hunger for his flesh. He wants to take Revali's place, but the Rito called first go, and Sidon will honor that. If only because it will make it easier for him to fill the blond with both of his cocks.

     Revali hunches over, hips snapping forward, and pushes Link's mouth further down onto the cock he's sucking and Sidon snarls, dropping a hand onto the blond's head and tangling his claws in pale hair.

     Link whines—there's no other name for _that_ sound—and Sidon snarls. “Revali,” he grinds out between clenched teeth, his bio-luminescence flickering on and off, “hurry the fuck up or I am going to come across his face.” The noise Revali makes is somewhere between a gasp and a moan and he flashes a smirk, tightening his grip on Link's hips. There will be bruises there in the morning.

     “Do it,” he orders breathlessly, “paint his face,” and Sidon groans. He can feel the coil tightening in his gut and the Zora hunches over, tightening his grip in the blond's hair as he peaks. Link wraps his mouth around the one cock he's sucking on, greedily drinking everything Sidon has to offer; the other splatters across his face, painting his cheeks white and the prince can't stop the sharp inhale at the sight. Revali trills something, and the chirp is definitely sharp enough to be a curse, and reaches underneath the blond to tug at something that Sidon can't see. From the way Link gives a pleading whine, he's going to guess that the Rito cut off an impending orgasm.

     Revali shudders, feathers fluffing outwards before lying flat, and he pulls out, his release staining his cock white. “Switch?” he offers lazily.

     Sidon removes the blond's lips from his cock and spins him around, then takes a chance to look over Revali's work. Link's thighs are stained white and it's dripping out of him, running down pale flesh. Sidon can't resist leaning down to taste it, gliding his tongue upwards. The blond, already in the process of sucking Revali clean, _whines_ and the Zora pulls away to stroke himself once before pressing his tips against him. He drops his hands onto pale hips and squeezes. The muscles there clench, desperately trying to tug him in, and he slides forward, sinking about halfway into warm heat.

     He stops when he meets resistance and carefully begins inching his way forward, pressing deeper and watching the expression of lust on Revali's face. The Rito is an open book when like this, and Sidon enjoys seeing every emotion that crosses his face. Link whines and shifts backwards, taking the last of him in, and their hips meet with the sound of skin on skin and Revali's breath hitches.

     Sidon is convinced that Link is evil; the wicked little Hylian keeps making keening noises and slurping lewdly on the cock in his mouth. He groans, his form shuddering as pleasure washes over him, and tightens the grip he has on pale hips, upping the speed of his thrusts. Forget minor handprint bruises, Link's hips are going to be black and blue for a _week._

(The both of them are so very fucked and they don't mind in the least.

It ends when the Prince of the Sea and the Champion of Wind fall in love with the Hero.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> [bibliomaniac](http://anuninterestingperson.tumblr.com) on tumblr made an awesome [Kass/Teba](http://anuninterestingperson.tumblr.com/post/159129538826/just-a-short-playlist-for-gravitys-childs-series) playlist. Go check it out!


End file.
